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Listening to the Village Voices

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

The people of Taos spoke to all of us during the two months—from February 5 through April 2– that TCA’s Encore Gallery and Nonviolence Works presented the exhibit “The Art of Nonviolence.”  They responded to the question: “What is the path to Nonviolence?  Share your Hopes and Insights… ”

We gathered 173 comments left by viewers of all ages—from 8 to 87.  While there was one comment from Indiana and another from Amsterdam, Holland, we can assume that these messages were from our own residents who welcomed the opportunity to respond.  We will review these messages over the next two weeks and share them with you as a reflection of our voices.

The majority of responses urged a personal expression of positive values that supported self-esteem and close trusting relationships—leading to the ability to avoid violent acts. Often these beliefs and actions are nurtured in families and religious communities.  Examples were: [Read more…] about Listening to the Village Voices

Listen and Learn

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

“Instead of working on our homework, we were sitting in our math class planning where we would duck and hide if the warning suddenly came.”
— a Taos High School student at the March 14th rally on the plaza.

“I am frightened to leave the classroom and go to the bathroom.”
— a student in the discussion at St. James after the march from the plaza.

“The high school is not safe.”
“We do not feel safe.”
“Anyone can walk in and out all day”
— comments heard at the St. James gathering.

“I became a teacher to develop, mentor and grow young people. To ask us to hold guns is not in our nature.”
— Pasqual Maestes

The iron in our bodies becomes stars when we are killed.
Respect the stardust in our blood instead of killing it.
— The poet Micalle Lewis, a 2017 graduate of Taos High

 

Ted Wiard, director of Golden Willow Retreat, stated that this community and the nation need to act through FEAR—Face Everything and Recover.

Can we face the obvious observation that the youth have taken over the narrative the adults should be creating?  Most adults over 40 did not experience the challenges our young people do today.  Can we do what Wiard said was needed—honor their anger by agreeing that something must change?  And protect them by holding space for action? [Read more…] about Listen and Learn

The World Has Changed for our Youth

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

“We don’t get that regular teenage life anymore. It just doesn’t exist,” declared a Florida Parkland student.

 “When I think about getting ready for school,” said a student in a church meeting for youth, “I choose the shoes I put on — the better to run in.”

Is this the world of school we want our youth to have?

In a nation whose national leaders are not able to seriously debate and come to consensus about how to reduce the dangers posed by the proliferation of assault-type weapons, our youth are watching us. And they are applauding the legislature and the governor of Florida who made some brave starts.

The national polls of gun owners show a preponderance of support for responsible background checks, raising the age at which one can purchase a firearm, and reducing access in the market to assault weapons. Gun owners who hunt responsibly, enjoy controlled target practice, and believe that their livestock and homes may be safer if there is a rifle in the home — are not apt to agree with the NRA manifesto that any gun control regulation essentially limits our individual freedoms. In fact, most observers believe that this position insults the intelligence of our citizens and the strengths of our democratic processes.  [Read more…] about The World Has Changed for our Youth

Is Is Okay to “Snitch”?

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

Once more, hindsight is brilliant!  The number of stories of actions taken by a variety of individuals to communicate concern about Nikolas Cage is too familiar a scenario.

Who is to blame—not enough training of law enforcement?  Not enough effective models of whether to keep the case open or not?  Not enough citizen skill at describing their concerns and stubbornly following up?

The responses we see are the huge media coverage with the resultant traumatizing of our youth—not just students at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School but understandably anywhere in the country.  Starting with the 1966 “Tower Shooting” on the University of Texas campus, we have witnessed too many of these events in educational settings.  And it makes cruel logical sense—since most mass shooters are intent on harming a great number of people— public settings such as a theatre in Colorado or a school in any town become efficient environments for that deadly goal. [Read more…] about Is Is Okay to “Snitch”?

Youth Speak to Us about Violence!

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

“Art is a language that allows youth to clearly express themselves in ways that are different than writing or speaking,”  so states Michael “Smokey” Martinez, Nonviolence Works board member and chair of the Art of Nonviolence Exhibit, which opens Monday, February 5. in the Encore Gallery at the TCA.

The exhibit features works by 30 young artists from Questa Junior/Senior High School, Taos Middle School, and Taos Charter School.  They all responded to the challenge from their teachers to express how violence has impacted them. The exhibit is beautiful and tough. These stories are clearly moving, with certain themes that emerge—the juxtaposition of love and violence, the power of bullying, bruises on the heart, feelings of being victimized, pretending to be okay, suicidal thoughts.

From the 2018 ART OF NONVIOLENCE EXHIBIT

Martinez comments that the courage of these artists to express their feelings is a strong message of support for other youth who may not feel they can speak up about what has happened to them.  These shyer students can be empowered by their classmates.  And the teachers—Katie Woodall at Taos Charter School, Christine Autumn at the Taos Middle School, and Jennifer Vialpando from Questa Junior/Senior High school—talked to their students about how to dig down deep in their own lives. What has happened to them? What have they experienced?  What have they observed?  What have their friends shared with them?  The teachers created safe, accepting environments for the students to speak their truth through art. And it will all be at the TCA for us to share. [Read more…] about Youth Speak to Us about Violence!

A Year of Success!

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

Nonviolence Works faced challenges, opportunities and success in 2017.  We want to reach out to Taosenos and celebrate our success!  This year our CEO Simon Torrez and our Lead Clinician Sadie Quintanilla have led the staff through successful changes with enhanced clinical expertise, larger staff, stronger programs, and exciting new plans for additional services.

We welcomed three new clinicians, and all our clinicians enhanced and focused their therapeutic skills. You may not know that we have an expert in infant mental health, several clinicians who respond with skill in crisis situations, a clinician who is skilled in vocational rehabilitation, and several who regularly intervene to prevent suicides.  Our clinicians all have master’s degrees and are able to deal with grief and loss, trauma, anger management, and custody and foster child issues. [Read more…] about A Year of Success!

Hope

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

So we have turned into 2018—and the gatherings of family and friends were marked by reflections on the year 2017 and hopes for the New Year.

Some of us made resolutions, others made promises to each other to stay more in touch or start some new journeys—take some new risks.  Alfred Tennyson wrote, “Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come whispering ‘it will be happier.’”

And don’t we all wish it so?  Whether reflecting on relationships or finances or losses or fears and challenges, we want to feel some sense of hope that the differences will be positive.  And we often ask each other to name their hopes for the New Year—as if they then might become real. [Read more…] about Hope

We’re Here for You!

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

Have you been to the Storyteller theater this week?  It is the holiday season when the audiences become larger and new movies are pushed out by the industry to capture your attention.  We hope you all notice the new ad for Nonviolence Works while you are waiting for the previews!

We want you to know that we are here for you!  We often hear that many people do not know we have competent clinicians that service individuals, families and couples, in addition to our ongoing work with youth. We especially want you to know that we have clinicians skilled in service to our veterans, and we want you to help us spread that word.

Our website gives you an excellent overview of our programs and the deep strength of our staff.  There is also an online referral form for yourself or others for whom you wish to seek services. [Read more…] about We’re Here for You!

Please really see me!

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

You asked, “How are you doing?”

As I told you, tears came to my eyes—and you looked away and quickly began to talk again.  All the attention you had given me drained away.                                                               -Kelly Osmont

Who among us has known grief and also had the experience of feeling alone in the company of others—even close friends and family?

We are a people who know it is important to be polite—to ask after   other’s troubles—but are we really prepared to truly listen?

Now the holiday season is upon us, with gatherings of friends and family, and invariably, some of those present with be dealing with tragedies or sorrows. Giving respect and attention to others who have deep pain requires us to be deliberate about our attention.

But aren’t we supposed to be joyfully celebrating at this time? [Read more…] about Please really see me!

A Clinician with Deep Commitments

Mary Gray McPhailBy Mary McPhail Gray
NVW Board Chair

When you look into Karen House’s piercing hazel eyes, you see strength, compassion and commitment.  A fifth generation New Mexican, Karen is a licensed clinical counselor who returned to Taos to lead programs at Nonviolence Works after a recent three-year stint of serving as an embedded counselor with US Special Operations.

Deeply committed to supporting veterans, Karen has used a variety of therapies to reach those who returned from service with deep trauma. A Special Forces widow, House feels obligated to go where she is needed in order to effectively treat service members. A maintenance group commander has told the story to hundreds about the time House completed a counseling session on the wing of an AC 130-H Spectre Gunship.  The airman was explaining his task as a fuel systems specialist, when a young maintenance troop quietly said “You’re a counselor, aren’t you?”  And House was there.

Karen House

House has been willing to go to extreme environments where she is able to fit in and relate to the experiences of the soldiers. She has served as a military family life counselor for a total of ten years.  House is considered an expert in the psychology of remote warfare. In contrast to some therapists who have never been actively involved in day-to-day life on a military base, House has been embedded at the operational level. Just prior to returning to Nonviolence Works as the clinical director, House served three months at Thule Air Base, 800 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

House is proud of her ability to use a variety of nonconventional therapies to reach clients. With a Master’s of Arts in counseling and psychology and a minor in adventure/wilderness programming, House believes strongly in the power of the natural environment and wilderness challenges to heal trauma.

She is also skilled at using CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), MST (Multisystemic Therapy), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and mindfulness de-escalation techniques with clients.  She is completing a second master’s degree—in social work—in order to expand her flexibility.

As an entrepreneur, House maintained a private counseling practice in Taos for seven years and was instrumental in bringing grant funding for truancy prevention to Taos schools. She is the founder and executive director of The Challenge Group, which provided educational and therapeutic adventures from 1999 to 2012 for people facing significant challenges. House is passionate about whitewater, and has been a rafting guide with New Wave Rafting Company for 20+ years.

House returned to Nonviolence Works in order to participate in the development of programs of critical need in Taos—a residential treatment program for adolescent males and a supportive multi-service program for veterans. House has been the clinical director at San Cristobal Treatment Center, a wilderness-based program for young men with addiction, and family resource director at Taos Charter School.  She brings these experiences to enhance her role in supervising a variety of clinical programs at NVW.

House was particularly drawn to return to work at NVW because of its commitment to providing services needed by the community. She sees herself as a strong community advocate—designing programs that work for the youth, families and veterans of Northern New Mexico.

Her sparkling green eyes also light up during her favorite pastimes: Being a tia to her niece and nephew and historical costuming and embroidery.

 

NVW has the largest staff of behavioral health social workers and counselors in northern New Mexico. If you need help, call us: 575-779-4297  www.nonviolenceworks.us 

Mary McPhail Gray is the board chair of NVW and can be reached at mcphailconsulting@gmail.com or 575-779-3126.